I would like to issue an update on the Tampa squirrel who played havoc with the drinking water in the Tampa Bay area in Florida. As I’ve suspected, the squirrel had no intention of causing harm. It inadvertently entered a pipe that served as a shield to a power line and got stuck. Frantically trying to find a way out of his or her predicament, the squirrel started to chew on the pipe to get unstuck. Unfortunately, his or her sharp teeth set a series of events in motion that ended up in fireworks, explosions and a blackout which led to a dangerous drop in water pressure at the water treatment plant.

Now, from here on, the reports lack clarity. A local newspaper said that the squirrel, or what everyone thought was a squirrel—officials admit it also could have been a rat— gnawed too deep into the pipe and cut into the power line and was electrocuted. I, on the other hand, heard a different story from a fellow dog. I’m in a precarious situation, though, because I have a personal relationship with the source of my news and therefore, I won’t reveal her name. She recently entered the Lassie Ford Clinic under yelps and protest, and I’m not so sure she is reliable and trustworthy in her account.  

The dog in question told me over the phone that she saw a squirrel sneaking into the clinic and trying to get admitted for beef beer addiction. The dog also said that the squirrel looked befuddled, had scorched ears and badly burnt teeth and his fur, covered with ashes, had large patches of hair missing. When the dog approached the squirrel, an orderly shooed her away and chased her back into the treatment room.