Hobo's blog

Hobo Hudson, business dog, author and farmer, shares his latest news and stories about his life and gives prudent advice to his fellow dogs, cats and other animals—humans included.

Monday, March 3, 2014

The elf returns—Part 2

By Hobo Hudson

Although Lulu Smuttdigger had dismissed Dad’s wild statements as the rambling of a deranged mind, she decided to walk across the street and confirm Dad’s tale. The first thing she noticed on the casino door was the large sign saying “closed.”

Unknown to Lulu, the elf manager had turned off the doorbell and telephone so that he could get a little uninterrupted sleep. He wanted to be fresh and alert for his first day on the job.  After ringing the doorbell for at least five minutes, Lulu decided the old man was right after all and called her secretary to dictate her story.

The first to pick up the story was The Onion, America’s finest news source, which trusted Lulu implicitly, and immediately posted a story with the headline, “Elf Casino Chain in Bankruptcy ” on its website.

By coincidence, the elf CEO had worked late into the evening polishing his presentation to his board of directors regarding the doubling in size of each European casino, and feeling certain his board would approve it, he telephoned his corporate headquarters and placed a message on its recorder saying there would be an important press release at 2 p.m.

All the national news sites picked up Lulu’s story followed by The Onion’s story and tried to confirm it. They called Elf Casino headquarters in New York but only reached the recorded message that it was closed and there would be a press release at 2 p.m. Not wishing to be scooped too badly, they all put a story on their Web pages entitled “Elf Casino to declare bankruptcy today.”

These stories soon landed on the Chinese news agency’s computer and were immediately forwarded to the Chinese premier who telephoned the head of the Chinese central bank and instructed him to order all Chinese banks to sell their Elf Casino stock immediately. The orders were sent to Hong Kong and any orders not filled were re-routed to the London Stock Exchange.

By 6 a.m., the American hedge funds had begun to check the pre-market prices and found Elf Casino stock had plummeted from a close of $53.25 to $12.15. They all placed “market” orders to sell at any price, while the short traders placed “short sale” orders, and the price continued to plummet. By 9 a.m., the banks were aware of the situation and immediately called their loans, and Dad’s rumor became reality as the Elf CEO issued a press release at 2 p.m. stating that a bankruptcy petition had been filed.

Dad was very much ashamed of himself for starting the rumor but knew he had better keep quiet to avoid being lynched. As for Lulu, she was never heard from again after learning she was the cause of the bankruptcy, and The Onion’s staff celebrated for finally getting a story right.




My name is Hobo Hudson. I’ve always considered myself a terrier mix, and I’m going to leave it at that. I used to share my mom’s website writing about my life, but Mom’s stories somehow got in my way. So, I deemed it more appropriate to open my own blog, which also allows me to engage my siblings in writing posts if I’m running short on time. After all, I’m a busy dog. My mom helps me with my blog now and then, but I think it’s only to safeguard my good reputation. Her website, newsandtales.com, contains some great stories.
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Bruny Hudson
Bruny Hudson, manager and editor of Newsandtales.com, assists as a consultant with Hobo’s blog.
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