Monday, December 12, 2011

Doggy humor: Hobo Hedge Fund business model revealed

By managing directors

News releases are showing glowing results by the Hobo Hedge Fund, but Hobo has been very closemouthed about his business model and just keeps barking “half and half.”

Since Hobo has been unwilling to provide details, we decided to consult a British publishing colleague who recommended we hire a certain hacker to attempt to hack into Hobo’s computer and access his business model. Following this advice, we found that Hobo has signed an advisory contract with a mysterious person referred to only as “Dad” in all his records. The contract says that “Dad” will furnish instant reports every time he makes a stock trade, and Hobo will be able to use the information in any way he wishes.

Tracing e-mails from “Dad” back to another computer, we found that “Dad” has two stock market accounts. One is for long-term holdings and the other is for day trading. While “Dad’s” trading records show he almost never has a loss in his day trading account, he has a consistent record of picking stocks for his long-term holding account at their highest point and almost always has a loss in that account.

Hobo’s brilliant business model is therefore to follow “Dad” in his day trading activities and to go into a reverse position when “Dad” makes a long-term purchase, i.e., selling short when “Dad” makes a purchase and then covering his short position by purchasing the stock back at a lower price a couple of days later.

We have been unable as yet to determine the identity of the mysterious adviser known only as “Dad” but have our hacker hot on the trail and hope to be able to report his identity to you shortly.

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About Hobo


This was Hobo Hudson, my doggy brother, a little terrier mix with black fur. He became famous after his first attempt at writing stories, which was an article published in the newsletter of our local animal shelter, the same shelter in which I ended up years later before Hobo and his parents adopted me. Hobo’s fame quickly spread as he made a name for himself as a business dog and an adventurer. To keep his memory alive, my doggy sister, my three kitty siblings and I, Wylie Hudson, are continuing his blog. Our mom is the blog’s editor.

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